Why This Guide Matters
Talking about suicide can feel scary, especially when it involves a child you love. But avoiding the conversation doesn't make the risk go away.
Many young people struggle silently with feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or emotional pain. Knowing the warning signs and how to respond can help you start important conversations, connect your child to support, and remind them they don't have to face difficult moments alone.
How to support a child thinking about suicide
Crisis Resources
- Call or text 988.
The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline offers free free, confidential support for anyone experiencing a mental health crisis and connects texters with trained, real-life Crisis Counselors. - Call 911.
You can call for mental health emergencies too. - Text HOME to 741741
from anywhere in the U.S.
1 person dies by suicide every 11 minutes
20%
of high school students
2nd
Cause of death
Female & LBGTQ+
students report worse mental health
71%
Growth in Black Girls
3rd
Cause of death globaly
Many factors contribute to suicide risk. With children who are thinking about suicide, you might notice the following:
- Major changes in how they’re doing at school
- Talking about being worthless, helpless, or hopeless
- Spending much more time alone than before
- Being very irritable and grumpy much of the time
Remember - You are not alone.
Try This: Practice Radical Acceptance*
- Name what happened (facts only): “The relationship ended.”
- Name what you’re telling yourself: “This ruined everything.”
- Practice acceptance in the present tense: “This happened. I may not like it — but I accept that it’s real rightnow. I can choose my next step.”
I’m worried that my child is thinking about suicide. What can I do?
It may not be easy, but try to slow down. Take a breath.
This is going to be a process, not a quick fix.
Your goal is to make sure your child feels seen, heard, and supported every step of the way.
Ways to Let Them Know You See Them
Trust yourself. You know your child. If you’re worried, there’s a reason.
Be direct. You can ask your child if they think about death, suicide, or wanting to die. Using the word “suicide” does not make it more likely to happen. It helps your child feel heard.
“You seem distant lately. I’m wondering how you’re doing.”
“Sometimes, when people feel that way, they think about harming or killing themselves.”
Believe your kid. If they often talk about feeling sad, hopeless, or worthless — or if they talk about suicide — believe them. It isn’t a routine mood swing, phase, or way to get attention. Thank them for telling you and trusting you with this.
Listen, don’t solve. Avoid pep talks or trying to change their mood. Your one goal is to build trust and safety so your teen knows you’re there for them. That means listening.
Ask open-ended, non-judgmental questions. When you do speak, be curious. Instead of yes or no questions, invite your child to open up. Put aside your own ideas so your child feels seen.
“I’m not sure I understand. What’s an example?”
“Please tell me more so I really get what you’re saying.”
Accept your child’s feelings. It may be hard to hear, but you don’t want to down play their feelings. If you don’t take their feelings seriously, it tells your child you don’t take them seriously.
Make a safety plan. Who can your child call in a crisis? What do they need from you? Where can they go until the feelings start to go away? Be specific and have backup plans.
“These are important feelings you’re having. When people have these kinds of feelings and thoughts, they often get support from someone like a therapist. Would you be open to that?”
You don’t want your child to be alone in a crisis.
Even if they aren’t talking, just being around friends, family, and others they trust will keep them safer.
Say This:
To make sure your child feels heard, use phrases like these:
- “I’m here to help you, but I also knowI don’t have all the answers.
- Right now, I just want to listen so I can make sure I do what’s really helpful for you.”
- “I don’t know the best way to help yet. I’m here to listen because I want to know your experience and what you’re feeling.”
- “These are really important things you’re sharing. It means a lot to me that you told me.”
- “Thank you for trusting me to tell me these things. It’s really important.”
- “It’s hard to hear you’re feeling this way, but I’m really glad you told me.”
Not That:
Avoid language that suggests your child’s feelings are not real or important, like:
- “When I was your age … ”
- “You just need to shake yourself out of it.”
- “Just pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”
- “You’ll grow out of it.”
- “Everyone feels down sometimes. You’ll be fine.”
- “You just need to focus on the positive and be cheerful like me!”
- “You can’t feel like this. You have so many good things around you.”
- “What do you have to be sad ordepressed about?”
Try This: Practice Radical Acceptance*
- Name what happened (facts only): “The relationship ended.”
- Name what you’re telling yourself: “This ruined everything.”
- Practice acceptance in the present tense: “This happened. I may not like it — but I accept that it’s real rightnow. I can choose my next step.”
Leading Suicide Risk Factors for Kids
- Family history of suicide or suicide attempt
- Previous suicide attempt The more planning, the higher the risk. Examples may include saving up medications, making sure others aren’t around, and writing a suicide note.
- Existing mental illness, like depression, anxiety, psychosis, attention-deficit/hyperactivitydisorder (ADHD), or oppositional defiant disorder (ODD)
- Drug and alcohol use lower a kid's self-control and can quiet the inner voice that says "wait." With clouded judgment, a passing thought is more likely to become an action. They can also deepen depression and make a kid feel more alone.
- History of being abused, treated very poorly, or neglected
- Conflict or event that causes a lot of shame or guilt
- Difficult life events, like a break-up, family trauma, school challenges or the death of a loved one
How do we find professional support?
Professional Support for Your Child & Family
- Mental health professional at school
- Mental health counselor
- Your child’s doctor
- Social worker
- Psychologist
- Child psychiatrist
Additional Suicide Prevention Resources
- BlackLine: A hotline open to all and geared towards the Black, Brown, Native, Muslim and LGBTQIA+ community. No one will be turned away from the Hotline.
- Trevor Project: Explore suicide prevention guides as well as educational articles covering warning signs and suicide awareness.
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Life's challenges can sometimes be difficult and caring counselors are available everyday, around the clock to provide free, confidential help.
- Project Extreme: Non-profit providing innovative programs and solutions for at-risk Jewish teens, families and communities
- Centers for Disease Control: Suicide is rarely caused by a single circumstance or event. Learn more about risks and protective factors.
Content strategy and experience developed by Beyond Words Collective.
